How To Get A Girl To Open Up: 10 Tips That Will Actually Bring Results
Emotional connection is one of the cornerstones of a successful relationship. You simply cannot stay for a long time with a person who isn’t opening up to you emotionally.
Unfortunately, many women find it hard to disclose their emotional side to someone, and knowing how to help someone open up emotionally is not always easy. Here is how to get someone to open up to you in 10 steps without breaking the delicate balance of your relationship.
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Why does a woman close up emotionally?
Before you go any further and read how to get someone to open up emotionally, you need to know why a woman may become emotionally distant. Of course, if you’ve been together for some time and you notice a change in her level of emotional availability, it may be a direct result of something you did.
However, emotional closeness is often caused by one of the three most common factors. Before you find out how to make a girl open up emotionally, you need to determine what it is in your case and deal with it appropriately.
- Conservative upbringing. You are going to be surprised by the number of women in their 20s and 30s who were brought up in extremely conservative families and were told to never open up to men or show their true feelings.
- Emotional trauma. For many women, the inability to open up to a man directly results from the emotional trauma they endured in past relationships. They fear that if they open up to someone, their vulnerability can be used against them.
- Personality type. Sometimes, the lack of desire to open up emotionally is part of the woman’s personality. It’s not something that was brought on by upbringing or past trauma, it’s just something she’s most comfortable with.
There are a few common reasons why it can be challenging for a woman to open up to you, but the way you approach this issue depends on several more factors, and the strategy you choose determines your success. Here is how to get someone to open up to you emotionally in 10 simple steps.
1. Ask just enough questions
When you want to get to know someone, you tend to ask lots of questions. You feel like you know just the right questions to ask a girl to get her to open up. However, you can easily overdo it with the questions, which can lead to the girl shutting out from you even more.
If a woman gives concise, non-detailed answers to your questions, it’s a telling sign that she’s not in the mood to be questioned right now.
2. Become an active listener
One of the reasons why a woman may not be much of a talker is because she’s convinced no one is actually listening to her. Prove her wrong by becoming the best listener she’s met in her entire life.
This includes many aspects of successful communication, from repeating the things she said to you after some time has passed to subtly nodding while she is talking to show that you are actually listening to what she’s saying.
3. Encourage a non-verbal connection
Wondering how to get a girl to open up emotionally? Your first instinct is probably to look for the right words, but non-verbal communication is just as important. The most basic aspect of non-verbal emotional connection is eye contact, which you definitely shouldn’t force.
Even something as simple as your tone of voice and the way you gesture while you’re talking should make your date feel at ease, not make her worry about your intentions.
4. Practice friendly physical contact
Physical contact is incredibly important even in a friendly relationship, let alone when looking for a romantic partner. However, it is also something you should never force. A woman who is closed up emotionally will never react well to your attempt to hug or kiss her after the first date.
At the same time, taking things slow and gradually building up the physical closeness is something that will help you go from friends to romantic partners. For example, you can go from lightly touching her when you share a laugh to a half-hug within one date.
5. Find the right situations to talk
If you’re wondering how to get someone to open up and talk, the ambiance and social situation matter more than you think. For example, having a frank and open conversation in a crowded bar will always prove more challenging than an intimate talk in a coffee shop or a quiet park. So always mind the situation when asking the important questions.
6. Don’t make her feel pressured to open up
For a woman who has spent years or even her whole life being closed up emotionally, opening up to someone new may be one of the hardest things she has ever done. So you shouldn’t expect her to just magically shed her emotional baggage and open up to you.
How to get her to open up emotionally? Never stop trying, but don’t put her under any time constraints and don’t make any conditions, such as she opens up or you end the relationship.
7. Set an example by opening up emotionally
One of the most unexpected solutions for how to get a girl to open up is to open up emotionally to her first. Women are used to men being emotionally closed off, so when you actually show your emotional side without the fear of seeming vulnerable, it will tell your date that you can be trusted and that she can open up safely and with no negative consequences.
8. Find her style of humor
How to get a girl to open up to you over text? You just have to tell the right kind of joke! But what is the right kind of joke to use with this particular lady? This is what you need to find out when you’re talking to her!
Women’s humor styles can be very different. Some of them like physical comedy, others prefer witty humor, and some find sarcastic jokes to be the funniest. Bonding over your shared love for the same type of humor is a great way to get a girl to open up to you emotionally.
9. Find her love language
You can spend ages researching how to get someone to talk to you about their feelings, but it can eventually turn out that you two are speaking different love languages. For example, if your main love language is words of affirmation and your woman’s love language is giving gifts, you can wait for ages until she talks at length about her feelings to no avail. However, it doesn’t mean that the feelings are not there!
10. Celebrate even the smallest success
When you meet a woman who is completely shut out emotionally and you decide to attempt to get her to open up, you need to celebrate even the smallest success. Praise your woman for letting you into her inner world, but don’t make a big deal out of it, and if you keep it up, things will only go up from there.
You can spend ages reading how to make someone open up to you, but there is no universal solution to this problem because there are different things that influence your woman’s level of emotional availability. So you can’t just take one guide on how to make a girl emotionally attached to you and apply it verbatim to your situation.
What you can do is find an approach that works for your relationship, and then you are going to be rewarded with the most emotionally healthy and stable relationship you’ve ever had.